The Only Rock of My Salvation

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Fort Worth, Texas, United States
O Changeless God, Under the conviction of thy Spirit I learn that the more I do, the worse I am, the more I know, the less I know, the more holiness I have, the more sinful I am, the more I love, the more there is to love. O wretched man that I am! O Lord, I have a wild heart and cannot stand before thee; I am like a bird before a man. How little I love thy truth and ways! I neglect prayer, by thinking I have prayed enough and earnestly, by knowing thou hast saved my soul. Of all hypocrites, grant that I may not be an evangelical hypocrite, who sins more safely because grace abounds, who tells his lusts that Christ's blood cleanseth them, who reasons that God cannot cast him into hell, for he is saved, who loves evangelical preaching, churches, Christians, but lives unholily. My mind is a bucket without a bottom, with no spiritual understanding, no desire for the Lord's Day, every learning but never reaching the truth, always at the gospel-well but never holding water. Give me a broken hear that yet carries home the water of grace.- Paradoxes/Valley of Vision

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Life, Love, and Happiness

I am in the library, in a relaxed mood, God has given me a peace, and I am going to share my heart with you who read this. I have been at Southwestern for about a month and a half now... maybe two, and God has rocked my world upside down, sideways; you know the usual. I have been questioning: what is love? No, not the romantic kind. What does it mean to love discerned as the bible speaks of? What does it look like to love with Christ? To love in Christ? 1 Corinthians 13. Ephesians 5:1-2. Philippians 1:9-11. Colossians 1. 1 John 3 starting in v. 11. What does it mean to love discerned. That looks like the exact picture in each of these verses/ passages. I continue to question... am I loving.
The point of this is not for me to teach you anything, I am simply writing my heart for all of the internet to see. Seems very dangerous, don't you think?

I am now listening to one of my favorite preachers: Paul Washer. He is a sinner as you and I are, do not boast in him, but in the Him he speaks of.

Just a thought: how beautiful is brokeness, and why? Yes, it's painful, but just how good is it? If it's good, why is it good? Because of Him? Because of who is being edified for the brokeness? I read in psalm today, and the verse that was presented was: "Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that YOU have broken rejoice." Psalm 51:8 That whole chapter is so beautiful in it's context! That is insane. Just dwell on Him and His character for a little while... it's will BLOW YOU AWAY!

I have to go work on my papers... and some studying reading stuff. It is college you know :)
Pray for me! I am praying for the ones I love dearly. Which means daily.
-Katelyn
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