The Only Rock of My Salvation

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Fort Worth, Texas, United States
O Changeless God, Under the conviction of thy Spirit I learn that the more I do, the worse I am, the more I know, the less I know, the more holiness I have, the more sinful I am, the more I love, the more there is to love. O wretched man that I am! O Lord, I have a wild heart and cannot stand before thee; I am like a bird before a man. How little I love thy truth and ways! I neglect prayer, by thinking I have prayed enough and earnestly, by knowing thou hast saved my soul. Of all hypocrites, grant that I may not be an evangelical hypocrite, who sins more safely because grace abounds, who tells his lusts that Christ's blood cleanseth them, who reasons that God cannot cast him into hell, for he is saved, who loves evangelical preaching, churches, Christians, but lives unholily. My mind is a bucket without a bottom, with no spiritual understanding, no desire for the Lord's Day, every learning but never reaching the truth, always at the gospel-well but never holding water. Give me a broken hear that yet carries home the water of grace.- Paradoxes/Valley of Vision

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I'm a birdmonkey!

Today was a trivial day. I did some school work and read some. I was lost in thought and prayer... I made some important decisions today in my heart. I was lost in a state of confusion in peace. I know it makes no sense but it's good.
I went to the state fair with my girls and some guys from the seminary and college. I rode ONE ride and it was amazing! It's about 250-300 ft. tall and you are strapped to one rope and two other people. It pulls you back and you pull a chord and it's a free fall/swing... It's like a form of bungy jumping!!! It was insane... and the funny thing is... it's a million times LESS of a ride than what I have when I'm in communion with God. It was a SICK thrill, but nothing compared to what He has so GRACIOUSly given to me.
I"M FALLING MORE IN LOVE>> HEAD OVER HEELS>>> CAPTIVATED>>>> INTOXICATED>>>> IN LOVE
WITH HIM!!!! JESUS CHRIST MY LORD! THE ONLY SOVEREIGN WHO DWELLS IN UNAPPROACHABLE LIGHT! THE SON: GOD IS PLEASED TO DWELL IN HIM! THE SPIRIT: WHO DWELLS WITHIN ME! THE FATHER: ALL POWERFUL, LOVING , JUST, GOD!!!! I"M IN LOVE!!!!
IF I"M OUT OF MY MIND :IT'S YOU YOU!!!!!

I fear losing heart! I DOOOOOOO!!!!!

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