It's Christmas break here at Southwestern.... (Dr. Blaising exits :D)
Sorry it has taken so long, but college caught me and wouldn't let go! :) I am now sitting at an empty pool, dwelling on what God desires for me right now. Rest?
When my flesh screams filth, and my heart cries for God to continually help me to slay this flesh that clings so tightly to my bones... IT HURTS! How God can I love two things? I CANNOT. I desire for my sole devotion to be to You! Idolatry is evil and gross. Thou shalt not have ANY OTHER GODS BEFORE ME! I hear Your command God! What flesh? What anger? What jealousy? What hurt? What idols? Philosophy and reasoning is crammed into my head for the... better? Christ as the head of the church LOVES THE CHURCH. Grace. Tis grace that I might struggle with the flesh daily. I desire my treasure to be solely God and none other. That other little treasures would be wholly glorifying to Him. That my utmost affection would be for HIM and that my other affections would mirror that! Thank You Lord for WHO YOU ARE! IN YOUR GRACE AND YOUR MERCY! The undefiled and untainted eternal inheritance of knowing the Father is GRACE! YES! Rejoice in salvation and the grace that God has given us, but that does not mean circumstances will not be in placement before us. Grandfather is in the hospital again? Yes! Whom do you trust? A man whom you love dearly questions where his role is to be in your life. Is he to be in your life at all? Is your heart in his hands? YES! Do you love him more than the Lord? I'd certainly hope not. GOD! Lord, may I take the circumstances and react in a way that glorifies You as my gaze is upon you rather than them... May my hope be set fully on future grace! Give me education in who YOU are. I am in no place to show others how to live. My heart yearns to be in a place that others may be influenced. I feel lost and without guidance. Father, You are the voice I'm looking to hear. I hear it faintly and Lord I will grasp onto every whisper. I will CLING to You. Father, teach me more what it means to hunger and thirst for YOU. Teach me more who You are that I might desire righteousness above all. Break me Lord. Make me wholly Yours, and may my life be a pleasing aroma. Glorify Thy name!
How are we to love if we have not been changed? How are we to love if Christ is not our gaze?
The Only Rock of My Salvation
- Katelyn
- Fort Worth, Texas, United States
- O Changeless God, Under the conviction of thy Spirit I learn that the more I do, the worse I am, the more I know, the less I know, the more holiness I have, the more sinful I am, the more I love, the more there is to love. O wretched man that I am! O Lord, I have a wild heart and cannot stand before thee; I am like a bird before a man. How little I love thy truth and ways! I neglect prayer, by thinking I have prayed enough and earnestly, by knowing thou hast saved my soul. Of all hypocrites, grant that I may not be an evangelical hypocrite, who sins more safely because grace abounds, who tells his lusts that Christ's blood cleanseth them, who reasons that God cannot cast him into hell, for he is saved, who loves evangelical preaching, churches, Christians, but lives unholily. My mind is a bucket without a bottom, with no spiritual understanding, no desire for the Lord's Day, every learning but never reaching the truth, always at the gospel-well but never holding water. Give me a broken hear that yet carries home the water of grace.- Paradoxes/Valley of Vision
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